omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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