I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
