I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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