we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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