Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
