went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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