You can't special order awesome
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
