HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm gonna have a badass scar
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
