your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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