She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
