yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
