I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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