you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
