i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
