It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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