At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
