it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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