I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
