Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
