peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
