just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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