You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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