I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
