You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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