great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She bit a glass in half.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
