for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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