What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
