well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Im part way to drunk.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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