why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
