i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
