So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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