some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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