I don't usually arrange sex via text message
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found puke in my bra..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
