just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it was like eating out sand paper
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
