i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
