is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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