she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
