its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
