We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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