Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
