So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
