I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
