I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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