Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
