I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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