Redeem this text for a blowjob
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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