i can't believe i had my finger in that
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
did i just pee glitter
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
