Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
