Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize