just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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