My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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