im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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