So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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