You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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