It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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