i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
