At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
