i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
