dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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