If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize