so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize