we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
