He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You took a bar mat shot.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
