He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
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