Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
