You're my little dorito
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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