Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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