3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize