Non-Jews are for practice
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
