What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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